Monday, January 28, 2008

farewell to a friend

I just read an obituary for a friend. Dick Healy, my earliest political supporter and advisor passed away. Over the years, I have had the good fortune of getting to know him and his family. His constant and unwavering support and friendship have helped me tremendously during my years on the Board of Supervisors. He was a heart transplant survivor, and only 68. He will be missed.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

cool scars

Went to visit the folks in NC the week before my surgery, which was just a few days before my dad's birthday. A nice visit, and while I was there I got my blood work results, which led the doctor to think that the tumor would not be malignant. Went in for surgery on January 17. If you can ever avoid major abdominal surgery, try to do so. Went in to OR at about 1:15pm, and did not get out of recovery until 9pm. Poor hubby had to wait so long to hear any news, but my friend Debi kept him company. Debi is like my local mom, and she never had a daughter so I kind of fill that role for her. I had staples from one hip to the other, really staples. It looked like someone went crazy with a staple gun and just let loose on my belly. Surprisingly, I didn't enjoy the morphine, and first thing in the morning asked that I be taken off the IV, and given a different pain pill. That surprised me, as some moms I had spoken to had raved about it after having C-sections. Two days later, I head home. I have had a number of friends who have had a similar surgery (hysterectomy or other uterine surgery) and have to say that I think that I just had a great surgeon. Yes, I am sore and miserable, but some of my friends predicted that it would be a week before I could handle the stairs, etc. I'm no dynamo, but can move slowly and can handle stairs, etc.
It feels like hot pain in my belly and I have been sitting around reading and watching TV. Mom flew in the day I got home from the hospital. NO ONE can take care of you like your mom. I think that I instantly revert to a six-year old (aptly described by my hubby who reminded me that I was closer in age to thirty-six than six). It was just so nice to be able to be whiny and sore and to have mom there (and happy) to do everything for me from putting my socks on to foot rubs and bringing me coffee. Although she did tell nearly everyone who called me that the pain pills had made me constipated, and that I was miserable. This is something that only a mom would do as well...
She stayed for a week and it was great to spend so much time with her. Mom and dad are in NC and I don't see them enough. She has made great strides in her efforts to quit smoking, and dad has been working out etc., and looks great. He has also been cooking more, and experimenting in mom's absence, which is neat because for my lifetime he has been the grill man and the clean up guy. He has added grilling fish, steaming vegetables and making omelets to his skill list.
I am going to try to go back to work part time in a week. Don't know what I will be able to wear, but need to be doing something. And, with the office so close (3 blocks) I can come home if I am tired or in pain.
Went to get the staples out and learned that the pathology reports came back negative, and everything was benign. So, in a few months we will get the all clear to try to get me pregnant. Deliveries will be by c-section. Ugh! I guess there is no labor pain, etc., but the idea of getting cut open in the same spot (not as big or invasive though) is pretty scary. Worth it I suppose.
I've been reading 1-2 books/day. Starting tomorrow I will try to work in some legal CLE books to learn something work-related while I sit around.
So, that's the news for now.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Party o' the year!

The holiday party rocked! I cooked for days--lots of fun and fancy appetizers. The house was full, and it's a big house! I'd estimate at a high point there were 35 people in my house. Really was fun. Always great to spend over $500 on a party when you are about to be earning way less money--I guess I'm feeling bullish about my future?

Had leftovers, so invited 3 couples over for New Year's Eve dinner, which was also fun. However, I am kind of an early to bed early to rise kind of girl. After our guests left at 2am (I think). I proceeded to ring in the new year the right way with the hubby (if you know what I mean). The evening culminated with a panic attack and tears from me (the ol' hope it ain't cancer, what if it is whine) and we stayed up until 3:15am or so. Unfortunately, I'm not able to sleep late anymore, and was up at 8am. Since one of my closest friends was getting sworn in as the first female mayor of Amsterdam, I needed to get my shizzle together and head to the event and reception by noon. I felt like the undead. Not from any type of hangover, although I would be lying if I didn't admit to drinking copious amounts of wine, but from the 5 hours or less of sleep I got. But, the ceremony was great, and I got to share the news with lots of folks that I would be working locally starting today.

Today I started a new job which is less than 1/2 mile from my house--a small law firm. It was so nice to not spend 40 minutes in the car on the way to work, in traffic and staring at the sun. Spending about 2-3 days/week for the next three weeks pre-surgery there, and hope to get back ASAP, as if I'm lounging, I'm not earning anything.

Still can't shake the feeling that the surgery is going to go wrong. Have had some seriously disturbing dreams about it--one that I die in surgery, and then my ghost comes back to the house and lays in bed with the big man when he sleeps. I pray that it is nothing, and that all will go well, but really have this overriding sense of doom. Hubby says I can't worry about what I can't control, but apparently, I am phenominally good at worrying about shit I have absolutely no control over. I am abjectly terrified about this surgery and the chance that they may find end stage ovarian cancer (good thing I took out $100k in life insurance when I was pregnant!).

So, will try to keep the tears to a minimum, although they keep cropping up at the oddest times.