Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Party o' the year!

The holiday party rocked! I cooked for days--lots of fun and fancy appetizers. The house was full, and it's a big house! I'd estimate at a high point there were 35 people in my house. Really was fun. Always great to spend over $500 on a party when you are about to be earning way less money--I guess I'm feeling bullish about my future?

Had leftovers, so invited 3 couples over for New Year's Eve dinner, which was also fun. However, I am kind of an early to bed early to rise kind of girl. After our guests left at 2am (I think). I proceeded to ring in the new year the right way with the hubby (if you know what I mean). The evening culminated with a panic attack and tears from me (the ol' hope it ain't cancer, what if it is whine) and we stayed up until 3:15am or so. Unfortunately, I'm not able to sleep late anymore, and was up at 8am. Since one of my closest friends was getting sworn in as the first female mayor of Amsterdam, I needed to get my shizzle together and head to the event and reception by noon. I felt like the undead. Not from any type of hangover, although I would be lying if I didn't admit to drinking copious amounts of wine, but from the 5 hours or less of sleep I got. But, the ceremony was great, and I got to share the news with lots of folks that I would be working locally starting today.

Today I started a new job which is less than 1/2 mile from my house--a small law firm. It was so nice to not spend 40 minutes in the car on the way to work, in traffic and staring at the sun. Spending about 2-3 days/week for the next three weeks pre-surgery there, and hope to get back ASAP, as if I'm lounging, I'm not earning anything.

Still can't shake the feeling that the surgery is going to go wrong. Have had some seriously disturbing dreams about it--one that I die in surgery, and then my ghost comes back to the house and lays in bed with the big man when he sleeps. I pray that it is nothing, and that all will go well, but really have this overriding sense of doom. Hubby says I can't worry about what I can't control, but apparently, I am phenominally good at worrying about shit I have absolutely no control over. I am abjectly terrified about this surgery and the chance that they may find end stage ovarian cancer (good thing I took out $100k in life insurance when I was pregnant!).

So, will try to keep the tears to a minimum, although they keep cropping up at the oddest times.

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