Monday, June 29, 2009

Even more video!

Two videos for you reader (Dad)!

Dani, post-bath, while Daddy tries to dress her.

And, just some cuteness in her Cubs onesie.

That's all for today; not feeling so well today. Left work early because I felt yuk.

Hopefully better tomorrow.


The towel is the same, but the baby has changed (5 days old):

(6 1/2 months old):

Today's bath:

First bath:

I swear, I can't remember her being that small!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Social butterflies.

Some sucker mommy took her kid to disneyworld and spend a crapload of cash on an authentic Minnie Mouse dress--I picked it up at a garage for $1 a few weeks ago. Cuteness!!!

Dani and I were social butterflies today. We went to Congressman Tonko's birthday fundraiser, saw a ton of old friends, and Dani was super fun and happy!

And then we went to a graduation party for Rusty Decker, where Dani also had fun--she saw lots of kids, and got lots of attention because she was the only baby! I brought a blanket so she could have some fun on the lawn.

When I got home I was so sore and tired--holding a 16 pound baby for hours really does a number on an out of shape girl like me. I am so sore as I type, not my arms, or legs, but my abdomen--I feel like I just had a c-section. Ugh.

But enough whining. When I got home I was talking to Big Man and told him that every time I get Dani out of the pack-n-play, I try to have her stand for a minute or two and hold the rail, but she has yet to figure out the holding herself up part. Big Man says, "She does it for me all the time." He then picks her up, and we walk to the pack-n-play and, lo and behold, the kid stands and holds herself up! (Look at her beaming at Daddy!)

Party girl.

I had some white powder I spilled onto a table at a fundraiser for Congressman Tonko today. I was scraping it up with a spoon into lines, and told my table mates that if it was the 70s, they'd think I was ready to party!

In reality, clumsy B spilled formula on the table, and needed to get as much as she could into the bottle!

Party on!

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Why women and children should not travel alone.

Exhibit A:
This occurred while we were on I-84 just west of Southbury, Ct. It was about 11:30am, and traffic was heavy and whizzing by. It was hot. I called AAA and told them I was stranded with a baby, hoping like hell the baby part would make them hurry. No dice. Not a single person stopped to help the lady squatting in the grass with a baby in a stroller. The cops didn't even show up, despite AAA's assurance they'd been called. We were stranded for an hour.

Now, for the embarassing part that because I have no shame I will share with the universe...I had to pee. Bad. We were pretty close to my Aunt's house, and if we had been driving, I would have made it, but I couldn't wait. So, I was left with the dilemma of walking the baby into the woods and trying to hold her while I peed, or something else. I picked the else. I have a 4 door car, and opened both doors, so I'd have some privacy, and just peed on the road. (It was an emergency, I swear.) The bad thing is that I was so nervous that a cop or the tow truck would pull up that I peed all over my right foot, soaking my shoe, and certainly adding insult to injury. So, then I had to bust out the antibacterial wipes and wipe myself down, feet, shoes, hands, etc...and still no tow truck--I was convinced that they would pull up mid-squat to add to my humiliation, but no such luck. An hour later, we were back on the road! I ultimately needed a new tire, which my Uncle Dickie was kind enough to procure for me.

When I got to Auntie Barbara's, Gram still didn't know I was coming. Dani and I walked out to the patio and she was so surprised!!!

She turned 89 today, and is still going strong! She had a great time with Dani, who was way fussier than usual. Hot, hungry, tired, the whole shootin' match. My entire Connecticut family came over and it was great to see everyone. Here's Gram and Dani:

Gram enjoying our off key rendition of "Happy Birthday"And Auntie Barbara who had so much fun with Dani!
I didn't have as much time to spend with them as I would have liked due to the car incident and some late afternoon fussiness which was a sign that getting on the road would be a good idea sooner than I'd planned, but all told, a great visit. Happy Birthday Gram.

Friday, June 26, 2009

I always thought he was kinda swishy.

Elmo that is. Emphasis on the mo.

My theory is if you ever see a book called "Balls!" you should buy it for your child.

Apparently, our little friend Elmo likes balls.

That's right, Elmo's thinking about balls. Balls of all shapes and sizes. He likes to juggle small ones.
I am incapable of reading this book to Dani because it makes me laugh. Big Man thinks I'm childish. It's not my fault Elmo has a thing for balls.

I let Dani play with a carrot when I was making my salad this morning. They are one of her favorite foods, but she didn't seem to like the taste raw. Obviously she couldn't really eat it, but I thought she'd suck on it or something, but not so interested. In other morning news, we had a little bit of an accident with the prunes.

I was giving Dani some prunes this morning, and she was loving them like she always does. She stuck her hand in her mouth, and without thinking, I left the room to grab the baby wipes. Yep, left the container of prunes on the shelf of her high chair. She grabbed it, poured prunes on herself, flinging the spoon onto the floor and getting prunes everywhere. But, you know what prunes look like, right? Yep, looked like someone flung poop all over my kitchen. Fun times in the B household this morning. I use about 1,000 wipes to clean the baby, and myself, and the cabinets, etc. There was even prunes on the baby wipes container from my pruny hands, which I had to clean off, because it would have been super gross if they dried on the white wipes container and it would look like we had poopy hands and got poop all over the wipes...which wouldn't be a big deal because we would know it was prunes, but when people came over and saw it, they'd probably talk about us behind our backs because they'd think it was poopy and that we were dirty birds.

Big Man said it was all my fault. I just figured she'd be distracted by her thumb and not notice the attractive nuisance right in front of her. Oops.

I did score some video cuteness this morning, pre-prune incident.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Luncheon and fashion show, a Dani guest post.

Peeps, it's been awhile since mommy let me post on the blog, but she promised I could tell you about this!

Mommy took me to a luncheon to raise money for the historical society. It was outdoors at Historic Fort Johnson, and it was really warm. She made me get all dressed up in a fancy dress, and then proceeded to use my cuteness to strike up conversations with lots of ladies in fancy dresses and hats. There was lots to look at so I didn't mind.

After a while, I started to get kind of bored. You can only grab your mommy's necklace so many times before it starts to get old. I was sitting at a table with some really neat folks, and some elected officials. I was really eyeing the watch the lady sitting next to me was wearing. I'm all about the bling. Anyway, the coolest thing happened--she let me play with it! It was yummy!After lunch, I went home to relax. Being a social butterfly can tire a kid out!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Latest trick.

We had another couple over for dinner tonight, and they brought their 8 week old. Dani was so enthralled with the baby! I, on the other hand, feared the baby. I literally can't remember when Dani was that small. I tried to hold the little baby, and was reminded to hold the kid's head, and then promptly gave the baby back to her more capable mommy. Man, I suck!

Not much to see here, just a sweet tummy time pic:
No news here--Big Man's been off, so it's been nice to have someone around (and awake)! Dani is just SO HAPPY!!!
I am going to head to CT to surprise my grandma for her 89th birthday on Saturday. She's never met Dani, so it should be a good time. And, at the very least, it will be an interesting road trip!

Dani has a new trick:

It seriously gets more fun every day.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day Fun.

(Note to those new to my blog--Big Man insists on remaining anonymous, and is not shown in photos here. To the long time readers (Dad), the photo software I have on the laptop won't let me superimpose officer friendly over Big Man's head, so had to crop him out.)

For Father's Day, Dani insisted on dressing like Daddy:
We also got Daddy a Cubs shirt, and a matching Cubs one piece for Dani!
And Dani also wanted to act like Daddy, in his spot on the couch, with the remote:
And, just a little silly tummy time:

It's been a fun day so far! Just Big Man, Dani and I, enjoying each other's company.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Dads and daughters.

There is something so special about the bond between dads and daughters.

I watch Big Man interact with Dani and this gentle love is written all over his face. I'm sure I recognize the look, having seen it so often as a child, on my dad's face.

Happy Father's Day to the two most important men in my life.

Rockin' the stroller.

A coworker very generously gave us a jogging stroller. While my queen-size booty isn't going to be jogging anytime soon, we did take our first walk in it this morning. It has huge wheels which is great for uneven sidewalks! And it's huge, so we will be able to use it for a very long time!
We are still working on the sippy cup. I swear, it's not loaded with booze! Dani says, "Woah, what's in this stuff?"

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I can haz bookz?

Dani is really getting into (tolerating my constant reading of) the board books. We read them morning and night. She even tries to hold them, and has a baby obsession with Elmo. I am convinced that Elmo may be the first word she utters and actually understands. The kid is seriously crushing on Elmo.

In other news, Dani has begun to babble. She did it for the first time (in my presence) last night. I learned two things: she has done it before and Big Man DIDN'T tell me. He said she's broken out with some ma ma and some ba ba prior to yesterday. I have to confess I'm kind of glad that he didn't tell me because then when she did it in front of me I didn't feel like I missed it. (Thank you Big Man. You always get to see the stuff first! But, I'm glad you let me do it too.) The second thing I learned is that Dani recognizes the camera and focuses on it when she sees it...little ham just like her mommy! Thank God she's abandoned the baby hiss!

Behold the babble:

Finally, I'm on my county's SPCA Board of Directors, and they were having a wine tasting tonight. I decided to bring Dani because I needed to show up, even if I couldn't really help much. It was going to be her first big, crowded event, and she did great! I brought the baby carrier, and had her face me, because people have a tendency to get all up in a baby's grill, and sometimes Dani isn't a fan of that, and I figured if the people or noise bothered her, she would be facing me, and calm...she spent the entire 90 minutes we were there trying to turn around to see everything! She could not get enough of the people and was so smiley and happy. Hoping she'll be a social butterfly like mommy! It was really fun, except mommy didn't taste any wine, because something felt wrong about walking up to tasting tables with a baby strapped to me!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Can I get a "cool wife"? Hells yeah!

So, I'm making good on my pledge from last year,-- (for the record, see for my post) when I pledged to plan a trip for Big Man for the fantasy football draft in Michigan in 2009.

AND, I've been working with Mason, his best friend and league manager, to begin to plan the trip.....Big Man has been informed. But hells yeah, he's going to Michigan for his fantasy football draft. I have enough miles for him to fly to Detroit, and he can rent a car and spend a few days. I'm should get extra cool points because the conversation today reflected my okay-ness with the fact that this trip will mean he's in Michigan on my birthday, and I'm okay with that. (Now if I can only get him to take the baby....hee hee.)

Anyway, on to baby shizzle.

Dani had her 6 month visit yesterday.
Here's the stats:
She is 15 pounds, 12 ounces.
She is 26.5 inches long. (and cute as hell!)

To compare, I pulled out my baby book. My mom has been suggesting that I do this for awhile.
So, here's the comparison so far:
B, Esq., v. Spawn of B, Esq.

Apparently, I had a 7 month visit and not a 6 month visit, but at that time, I was 27 inches long, and a whopping 17 pounds, 6 ounces. (Dani gets the win; svelte baby!)

I, too was a late teether, getting my first tooth at 9 months, on Father's day, 1974. (Still undecided; Dani has 8 weeks to pull ahead of mommy!)

I was saying "hi" at 7 months, and "da da" at 8 months. (Still undecided, although Dani laughs when mommy tries to get her to make sounds, preferring the vampire hiss, or her latest, snorting, a silly laughing snort!)

Cuteness factor: Dani wins by a longshot! Looking at my newborn photos, it's not even close. (Trust me.)

Turning over: Back in the olden days (1973) I think the rule of thumb was babies on their tummy, so turning over meant flipping onto their backs. Now, the rule of thumb is babies on their backs, so turning over means flipping onto their tummies. So, I was almost 3 months when I did some kind of flip in my sleep. Dani was only 7 weeks old when, during tummy time, she flipped onto her back. (Win goes to Dani.)

First crawl: According to my baby book, "6 months still kind of drag my big belly but I sure get what I'm after". Dani still is only capable tummy swimming, but can cover a bit of distance on her back making neck bridges. (Mommy wins--big baby tummy and all)

Sitting up: Dani can kind of sit up, topples over in like 2 seconds without support. My baby book reports that I first sit up at 6 months-ish but need to lean and need help. Not mastered by mommy until 7 1/2 months. (Odds on favorite is Dani)

Sleeping through the night: Apparently at 6 weeks I started sleeping from 6pm to 6am (much like Dani now) (Win without even looking it up: mommy) Perhaps I had an unfair advantage, as you will see below:

The one category that I "beat" Dani in (although beat is not the appropriate word) is eating (and sleeping). Now, my mom got pregnant about 4 seconds after I was born or something (silly old wives' tale about not being able to get pregnant while breastfeeding), so I knew that after about 3 months I would have had to be eating whatever passed for formula or baby food in the 1970s.....however, I looked at the ol' baby book and actually had to CALL MY MOM. In the "my firsts" section, it reads:
"9/20 - my first cereal - rice - undecided about it and the spoon it comes in"
"10/10 - bananas were my first fruit - just loved them"
"10/13 - liked my first orange juice too!"
And my personal fave:
"10/21 my first lollipop - sure was good - given to me by my sweet toothed Aunt Barbra - who else?"
"3 months 12/12 I'm on all baby foods - meats, etc. -whole milk"


So, I called my mom to ask how the HECK she fed a 10 day old baby rice cereal???? Baby food meats at 3 months??? A 6 week old baby stage 1 bananas??? (I thought I was early with Dani at 3 months!) Juice??? Juice at 5 weeks? (Dani's never had juice at 6 months!) She said it was different then and you used to feed your baby really early, and the rice cereal was watery or something. Holy fucky fuck, I guess it is true, babies bounce! I mean babies are pretty durable, like berber carpet. Obviously, things have changed--and Big Man and I have gotten shit for letting Dani try a finger full of various things (frosting, maple syrup, etc.) and all the while, 30 years ago, babies were eating all kinds of shit, with the doc's blessing and turning out okay!

So, I need to just chill.

Time for Dani to eat a chicken wing or something. Because, short of dropping them on their heads, babies can turn out okay!

But I digress. My kid's 6 months old, and she loves to snuggle with her Elmo, and her loveys when she sleeps. All signs point to girly girl...

Oh, and a silly video from the weekend where she had some crazy tongue action going on!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Sitting and standing and all that jazz.

OK all you curious ones, as you can see, the reason that I can't reveal Big Man's identity is because he is actually Green Lantern:

Apparently baby boot camp is paying off. Dani is now able to sit, having demonstrated it for me yesterday, to my amazement, and Big Man said, "she's been doing that for a while, she just topples over a lot". Since he didn't write it in her BABY BOOK, how was I to know? For a while she has wanted to stand, stand, stand. She is always kicking and jumping and wanting you to hold her upright. So, if you hold her hands, she can stand for a bit.
(Janine--recognize the outift? thanks!)
These pics don't look great--taken on the blackberry. Speaking of the blackberry, it only holds like 15 photos. So, I went to the Sprint store on Saturday to try to get a memory card for it. It is often the camera I have handy, and I refuse to delete the early-Dani photos I have from her birth. The woman at the Sprint store took a look at my phone, and it actually has a 1GB memorcy card in WTF with the no memory??? She gave it a once over and we changed the settings to save the pics to the card and not the internal memory, so I'm good to go! Thank you Sprint store manager (who I actually went to high school with, though she was a few years younger than me) for not ripping me off!

Prunes are yummy. Prunes with apples, even better. Waiting for the projectile pooping.

Lap baby?

Who needs a lap dog, when you can have a lap baby?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Farm stand.

Today was the first day day we could pick up our farm shares, so Dani and I headed to MacIntosh farms. We got: romaine, cucumbers, peas, tomatoes, strawberries and baby carrots!
I bought extra so we have 3 quarts of strawberries, so I invited David and Gail over for dinner/drinks! Mushed up some strawberries for Dani--not a big fan; kind of tart and acidy and made her spit up.
I hit a couple of garage sales today and got 25 Dr. Seuss and other books at a dime a piece, and an awesome Minnie Mouse dress for Dani! Will be a perfect halloween costume.
Big Man finished his sergeant test in 2 hours--hopefully he did well. He has the night off too--woo hoo!

Dani being silly on the changing table.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Street justice, baby style!

Today was the baby showdown. Big Man had to study for his sergeant's exam, and so our friend Gail was going to watch Dani. It would be perfect because Gail was already going to be watching an 11 month old, who I will refer to as "captain caveman baby" (because that's what she reminds me of) because her parents had gone out of town for a wedding. Gail loves babies, and is happy to have two friends with little babies, so the idea of two babies was a happy one to Gail. (at first.)

First, I must say that captain caveman baby is not physically that much bigger than Dani, but can walk around (she is 5 months older). Second, I must say that Dani has never actually interacted with another baby so we were interested to see what that would be like.

I have been informed that the day's highlights were as follows:

Dani was very happy (full body flailing baby happy) to see captain caveman baby. Captain caveman baby appeared happy to see Dani. They smiled, or screeched, or did whatever babies do to signifiy happiness. When it was quiet baby time, Gail put Dani and captain caveman baby in the pack and play together, and the babies were smiley and giggly and face to face.........and then Gail went to get her camera to capture the magical moment.

It is my understanding that when Gail came back into the room, captain caveman baby decided it would be fun to reach over and yank Dani's hair. Commence Dani screaming. Dani screaming caused captain caveman baby to scream. (Oh the horrors. )

The only way Gail could get captain caveman baby to stop screaming was to hold her, but captain caveman baby would not let Gail hold Dani too (at which point I would have put captain caveman baby in the garage) but captain caveman baby was bigger and stronger so Gail had to hold her first. Captain caveman baby calmed down, but Dani did not. So, Gail called for reinforcements. Aunt Renny came over to hold Dani so that captain caveman baby would not scream, and apparently she would scream if put down. When Aunt Renny could not calm Dani, Uncle John was summoned and he came over, and still could not calm my crying child. Then Aunt Renny put Dani in captain caveman baby's stroller (baby street justice) and Dani was happy and went to sleep. And all was well.

But, Dani, apparently much like the mob, does not forget a slight. When she woke up, Aunt Renny fed her some carrots and held her and brought her over to captain caveman baby and Dani promply smacked her three times in the head (more baby street justice). Commence screaming of captain caveman baby, and ensuing crying by Dani. Gail, a woman of remarkable patience, managed not to shake either child, and calmed them down.

Rule Number 1: don't f*&k with my baby, because apparently, she's pretty tough, and will kick your butt. Don't make Dani angry. You won't like her when she's angry.

I spent about an hour there after work, and Dani was absolutely captivated by captain caveman baby. Each time they were near each other, there was cooing and smiling and general Dani flailing. I think that if Dani was around a baby a few months older than she is, she would start interacting/talking/crawling, etc., much better and faster. Makes me more sure I need to get knocked up this month so she can have a playmate ASAP!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

I think that's what Bruce Banner (aka the Hulk, right? can't ask Big Man 'cause he's sleeping, but I am pretty sure it's not Bruce Jenner who is all creepy looking and face-lifty and a reality tv star of sorts but didn't he used to be a famous athlete or something?) used to say before he turned into the Hulk. I should google it so my post is correct, but it's much more fun if I am inadvertently wrong somehow...
...true story of me mixing up names. I was a girl in my teens (14 or so). For reasons that I will not explain for fear of being considered trashy, I happened to be in a bar (sports related pay per view was involved, as were guardians and/or parents if that helps) and some young men came up to me and introduced themselves, one of them introduced himself to me as "Johnny Holmes" or maybe it was "John Holmes", and my response was, "Oh, like the boxer? They laughed in unison and walked away from what was, clearly, the jailbait.
Yeah, so I had a rough day. Ever see the movie Hustle and Flow--no, I'm not walkin' the streets, but seriously, I could have been singing, "It's hard out here for a pimp, when you're trying to get the money for the rent," except, my song would be more like, "It's hard out here for a lawyer" except that nothing rhymes with lawyer, except maybe sawyer, and if I used that, people would think I typed something wrong, even though it technically means a person who saws wood, and that wouldn't really make any sense, would it? Or, I could try, "It's hard out here for an attorney", but then I already sound like a pompous asshole because who really says "attorney"? (me, sometimes, to be honest), but what really rhymes with attorney? gurney? So far the only thing positive about my day that is positive is that I did not end up on a gurney.
(This picture isn't blurry. You are probably drunk.)
As Norm on Cheers so appropriately said, "It's a dog eat dog world and I'm eating MilkBone underwear."
Again, not blurry. I'd recommend you lay off the sauce.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Six months ago today

Six months ago today, the world got a little brighter and happier, at least mine did.

And now, my sweet baby, you are almost crawling, turning up into such a big girl!

Every day is magic, little Dani. Mommy loves you!

When daddy's not looking...a Dani guest post.

Dani here, mommy said I could post this.

When daddy's not looking:
I like to play with his remote. He never lets me touch it when he's awake. He never even lets mommy touch it. It might be the one thing he loves more than me! Let me just inch over here, ok now it's right next to me! I got it!

Mine, mine, all mine!

Uh oh....I think I hear him coming, better hide! Hopefully he won't see me!

Oops! Busted!

Looks like daddy caught me!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Finding magic in simple things.

I took this photo while driving. It just looked like a magical Dr.Seuss-ish cloud. Made me feel like all was well here in who-ville.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Lon Cheney's bastard child?

(If I had to have a bastard child, I guess I'd rather have Lon Cheney's than Dick Cheney's)

Loyal reader (dad) you will recall that last July when I had my 3-d ultrasound, you all were treated to this lovely picture:

To read that post, click here:

At that time, I suggested that, given the picture, we may consider naming the baby Lon Cheney.

Once you see this video, you will agree, that I have a little vampire baby. Funny shizzle here:

Tee hee.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Progress already!

And, today, progress.

Who is sitting up? With minimal assitance of a pillow? Yep, my kid.

Sometimes a little competition's good for everyone!

*disclaimer--if you are my sister in law, I was only joking about liking one of your kids better than the other yesterday.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My kid's better than your kid........stop me before I compare again.

I am afraid I'm going to be one of those parents. Maybe I already am. You know, the one who needs to compare my kid to every other kid I see so that I can deem my kid superior in every way. Or not, which means my baby will quickly need to work extra hard to catch up. My baby will keep up with other babies!

I wish I were joking, but a woman came over last night with a baby 3 weeks older than Dani. And that baby could sit up! By herself! She used a sippy cup with ease. She held said sippy cup. She ate Gerber Beginnings Baby Puffs! My kid has not yet eaten of the Puff. She was, not as cute as my baby, but that was my only consolation. And I just kept telling myself (that Dani was cuter) while she was there, because life in B's world, is, after all, a competition.

I suck. I am the most competitive/judgmental person in the universe. This is incredibly ironic because I am absolutely unremarkable. No two things in my mind can ever be equal. I always like something better than the other, if there are more than one. If you are reading this and you have two kids, I like one of them better, and think one of them is cuter/funnier/smarter/less annoying, but don't ask because I will be too ashamed to admit it. Big Man thinks I'm crazy (but not crazy sexy fun crazy, just like crazy cat lady judgmental bitch crazy). He has twin nephews and very early into our relationship (round 2 that is) I asked him which of the twins he liked better. He said that he loved them the same, and I was all, "the same, you can't love two different things the same". Each time I see the little guys, I like one of them better than the other one because at that particular visit, one was more to my liking. It fluctuates. On any given day I like one of my cats better than the other too. Generally, that is whichever cat didn't puke. They puke all the flippin' time but that's another story.

So, back to Dani.
We had tummy time at 7am so Dani could work on her core strength so she can sit up soon. I stopped at Wal*Mart and got a first sippy cup so she could start to work on her sippy skillz. (Tried said sippy cup and it merely served to enrage her. She wasn't particulary hungry, and spit out all that she took in, perhaps out of spite!) I passed on the puffs, because even I realize that were she to choke (having no teeth and all) I could do time for being a completely negligent jackass.

I blame my mom (only kind of mom in a joking way, don't get all pissed off). She keeps encouraging me to get out my baby book to see what I was doing so I can compare it to Dani. So far, Dani would be losing and have to face more baby boot camp with her psychotic mommy. Apparently I was pretty advanced, what with the walking at 7 months and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at 18 months and all, but hey, I was a prodigy........or maybe my mom was really competitive too! It's all her fault, yeah, that's the ticket!

She really was loving her little tykes musical thingie tonight though..........ah the music eases the pain of the evil comparing assured if I was capable of cropping the video, you would not see the lumpy mommy abdomen.

Peace, y'all!