Thursday, August 2, 2007

Why don't I feel any different?

After last Thursday's big news, I guess I didn't know what to expect.

I thought I would feel different somehow once I was pregnant.

I didn't. Still don't. On Monday, I stopped at the drug store just to buy another box of pregnancy tests to be sure I was still pregnant, because I just didn't feel any different. Much to hubby's amusement, I am still pregnant. "You're going to be pregnant for a long time. You'd better get used to it," he said.

So, one week down and still no different. I guess my boobs are a little tender but that's it.

I suppose I should be happy as I am not nauseated at all, and am sleeping well. I haven't had any cravings yet. I am sure they are not far down the road. My mom said she never had morning sickness so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

It feels weird that we aren't supposed to tell anyone right now. Certainly I don't want to tell anyone at work, lest they already plan to replace me/not give me a raise/any of the other things a small male-dominated law firm would do to the only female lawyer who will have a child in the near future. Certainly they won't be happy for me--having a child will only distract from my indentured servitude and the slavish devotion I am supposed to have for the firm. We shall see.

As for the telling people, I don't get it. I suppose it saves the awkward "we lost the baby" conversation later on. But, so far if I have told anyone, I just say, it's early and anything could happen so we are keeping it low key. Folks who know me know that if I am at a social event, there will be an alcoholic beverage in my hand. Special election night I was drinking club soda--fortunately we were all given plastic cups so it wasn't obvious. But, if someone asked why I didn't want a glass of wine, I think I would have a hard time lying.

At a political event tonight, a female candidate I know talked about the fact that I was not seeking reelection. She and I talked about how the next few years would be focused on the pursuit of family and career. She said, "You two will have the most beautiful babies." How could I not tell her I am newly knocked up? So I did. Otherwise it would have felt weird not to say anything. I just don't see what the big deal is. Hubby hasn't even told his folks yet.

Oh well, I've never been good at keeping secrets. And this one is just way too cool to keep!

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