So big!

Everyone around these parts is getting SO BIG!

First, my 34+ week belly is about to require it's own zip code, it's so big. I'm exhausted and cranky and hot! I've been doing a terrible job with updates because I'm just so darn tired.

But so many awesome things have happened this summer! Big Man was promoted to Lieutenant, and his hours changed to 3-11pm, so he's home for the night, and not exhausted all the time. We need a few hours of child care a day, but our super-star sitter, Miss Ruth, is a lifesaver. The kids go to her house for a few hours of fun every day and she feeds them an early dinner so that when tired mommy picks them up after work, I don't have to come home and cook.

Dani is talking nonstop. The kid is amazingly creative, telling stories all the time, pretending to be characters and just is tons of fun. She is already telling me that when Tommy comes, she is going to feed him and hold him and burp him. She keeps asking when we can unzip my belly to get him.

Tori is still our little handful. I thought Dani was a silly, happy baby, but Tori is exponentially more so. She's always smiling and laughing, and getting in to something. If you turn your back, she will have swiped something off a shelf, or will be in the cat's water bowl or just doing something she shouldn't be--and she laughs like heck when caught. When she swipes the phone, or remote or something she shouldn't have, and you notice she shrieks with glee and sprints away as fast as she can.

She makes tons of animal noises, and says a few little words, like hi, daddy, mommy, kitty and a handful of others. But she understands a ton and can follow commands, when she wants to. She also reacts with a fiery, screamy rage when you stop her from doing something she wants to do, often sitting on her butt and screaming bloody murder. I'm sure my neighbors appreciate that.

Fortunately for her, she's really cute. It's her saving grace lots of days. They keep us entertained, and I can only imagine the trouble they get into when Tommy gets here!

Dani's guilty pleasure.

Like mommy, Dani looks forward to the weekly delivery of Star Magazine so she can read all about her fave celebs: It's been so spring-like that we had to break out Dani's new spring coat--an awesome valentine's gift from our local grandma emeritus, Debi Marek!

I know I've been posting much less frequently...just tired. Being 33 weeks pregnant, running a business, and chasing a toddler manage to sap a lot of my energy. (sorry dad.)

Things are moving along--we're amazingly laid back about this next baby. Maybe because we have one already, so we figure how hard can it be? But we haven't moved a single thing out of the attic to prepare; I did buy a baby book tonight at Target, because I have a feeling that without a real effort, baby 2 is going to ask why there are 27 photo albums of Dani and 2 pictures of her...well, also I might have bought it because it was on clearance for $7 but don't tell the new kid that, 'kay?

Still no consensus on the name. Ideas anyone?

Football Sunday!

Finally, it's football season again! I must confess we didn't watch as much of each game as we would have pre-Dani, because we were constantly chasing her around and stopping her from climbing up on furniture. We did get her to sit still for a second or two:

Dani was looking awesome in her Bears cheerleader outfit! She was so much fun today.

My fantasy football team is kicking ass! Big Man is home tonight, and we are ready to watch the Bears kick some butt tonight!

I had to share this one--looks like Dani is in baby jail!

Pregnancy update: I finally understand morning sickness; never was sick the first two times, but I feel queasy about 70% of the day. Meh.

In the abstract.

Is this some abstract art, or a secret coded message? See if you can figure it out.

Not sure?

Maybe this one will help?

Dani and I have been taking walks at night. She had a lot of fun with mommy's water bottle!

Dani says, "Psst, down here, did you figure it out yet?""Hope so, 'cause otherwise I'm not telling!"

Things that should remind you of me.

In case anyone is wondering what I look like these days, here are a few things that should remind you of my bloated, pregnant ass.

The movie Wall-E not only accurately described the humans of the future, but also the 38 week pregnant B's of today:And, when I stand sideways, I bear a certain resemblance to this scary storyteller:

But I still manage to bring smiles and french fries to children around the globe.

Sweet jesus, 3 more days of this................

Pregnant lady day out.

I hooked up with my friend Kristen yesterday for lunch and shopping. She's about 4 weeks more pregnant than me:

Just two insanely pregnant women waddling around Panera and Target. And, of course, low ridin' in the Caddy:

This is with the seat all the way up and me sitting on a pillow!

Thumpety thump thump!

Had the 18 week baby visit today.

We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time!!! It was so cool. It is pretty atypical to be this far along and never heard the heartbeat, but because I was initially at a bit of a high risk, I got an ultrasound at every visit, which was awesome. So, we always saw the heartbeat, but never heard it. It was amazing how loud and strong it was--the nurse even went and got the big man out of the waiting room. (It was the exam and pap visit, so he opted not to watch the doc feel me up, so he wasn't in the room.)

We go back in two weeks for the detailed ultrasound, and the penis-spotting.

All genetic tests and bloodwork came back great so there's an 85% chance we aren't having a baby with birth defects or downs. I guess the ultrasound will help to confirm that. We've opted not to get to 100% certainty with an amnio because doc says that about 1 in 300 amnios causes a spontaneous miscarriage. Oh, and did I mention that the idea of a twelve inch needle inserted into my tummy makes me want to pee my pants?

Also, although I look pretty pregnant, I'm down about 7 pounds from the first visit to the doc. No one appears concerned about this trend, and given the fact that I'm a big girl to begin with, I sure can't afford to gain the customary baby weight, so the initial loss is a good thing.

In any event, all is well in the ol' womb. Life is good.

Guess what I'm NOT doing tonight, a pregnancy rant.

I'm home.
I'm hungry.
My tummy hurts.
And, I'm grumpy.

I'm supposed to be out to dinner with one of my best buds, Tara, who is in town for the weekend, but a late-day case o' the pukies has kept me home. This sucks.

How is it exactly that women enjoy being pregnant? Does some brain chemical change occur once you have the kid so you forget how much it sucks during the baby growing process, so that you forget and decide to have more kids?

Really, for those of you who told me I'd feel great during my second trimester, f*&k you, damn liars. You should have described it as I wouldn't feel as shitty, 'cause that would be WAY more accurate. Not feeling like ass does not equate to feeling great. It is just higher up on the general suckiness scale.

"Oh", everyone told me, "you'll have so much more energy in your second trimester". Not true. Just because the average hour that useless couch drooling begins is closer to 9pm than 7pm does not equate to so much more energy. It feels like I just got over mono, instead of actually having mono.

The only one who came close to giving me the straight dope on what I'm in for was Tara, but unfortunately she told me once I was sperminated so there was no turning back.

Right now the girls are no doubt laughing and drinking cosmos, and I'm blogging in my jammies.

Being pregnant sucks!

Oops, I did it again...

So much can happen in a month.
Life slowly got back to normal. Started feeling less sore.
Went back to work, and started working on generating my own clients. Re-joined Curves.
After the mid-February surgical follow up, the OB scheduled a date in April that we were to have the final surgery followup, and then, ideally, get the green light to start trying again.

Last week, my period was due. Had bad cramps for three days, but no period. I just thought my body was playing tricks on me and getting back to normal after the surgery and stress. By Thursday night, I thought I should pick up a pregnancy test, just to ease my mind. After all, I was paying attention to my dates to ensure that there was no sex during any possible time of fertility (although disregarding my pledge to the doc that we'd actually use protection while I was healing). Friday morning, I wake up to still no period. It's early, and I'm not sleeping well and my allergies are awful. So, it's 6:30am, and I take the first pregnancy test in the two-pack. Positive. Decide that I'll try again after I shower. Positive. Pregnant!

Panic. Of course we wanted to start trying as soon as the doctor says I can, but we are about 3 weeks early! I began to imagine every worst-case scenario including a uterine blow-out at the surgery site or the doc saying it's too early and we have to terminate. I crawl into bed to wake the hubby to tell him, tearfully.

Coincidentally, neither of us remember having sex since 3/13, the day of my last cycle...so we actually get up, head to the home office, to look at the calendar and try to figure when we actually could have conceived this baby. We arrived at the Friday or Saturday before Easter. Who knew? Neither of us remember!

Why is it that every woman I know has described a similar scenario when they tell the father to be of their pregnancy. Even the most educated and sensitive men seem to have this caveman moment, that almost instinctual, "Me make baby. My sperm strong." moment. Hubby says, "Damn I'm good," and proceeds to kiss my forehead, and we snuggle in bed for a while.

I realize I have to get to work which is now a family-friendly three blocks from my house, and leave, intending to call the OB when I get to work to see if they want to move up my appointment with the doc, which I seem to think is at the end of April. I decide that a little McDonald's is an okay treat, so I hit the drive thru for a mcmuffin meal. When I get to work, I realize they threw in an extra hash brown, and decide that's a good sign, one for the baby!

At work, I look through my wallet for the appointment card, find it and learn that my OB appointment was that day! I call the hub and we decide it is another positive sign.

Scary bit: the ultrasound showed a small (15mm by 16mm) fibroid, but the nurse said it was not near where the baby would be. I immediately tear up, and fill with fear that this fibroid will exponentially grow and crowd out the baby, just like last time. But, I can't dwell on that.

Hopefully, I'll get an ultrasound at every visit to keep an eye on the fibroid. That's one benefit of a higher risk pregnancy--lots of ultrasounds!

Due date looks to be 12/17/08.

So, I'm 4 weeks pregnant and have already told half the universe. We are having a few couples over for dinner tonight and it will be obvious that there's a reason that I'm not drinking...

In a social setting, I'm always drinking. When you have a husband who doesn't drink very often, it just tends to work out that way. This pregnancy will be a nice break for my liver.

Anyway, our network of friends and family already were with us through the worst pregnancy news last year, so why not keep them informed of the good news.

Truth is, I can't keep a secret. Hubby's like a vault. His parents will probably find out when I'm in labor. I would have told the mailman if I saw him today!

Why don't I feel any different?

After last Thursday's big news, I guess I didn't know what to expect.

I thought I would feel different somehow once I was pregnant.

I didn't. Still don't. On Monday, I stopped at the drug store just to buy another box of pregnancy tests to be sure I was still pregnant, because I just didn't feel any different. Much to hubby's amusement, I am still pregnant. "You're going to be pregnant for a long time. You'd better get used to it," he said.

So, one week down and still no different. I guess my boobs are a little tender but that's it.

I suppose I should be happy as I am not nauseated at all, and am sleeping well. I haven't had any cravings yet. I am sure they are not far down the road. My mom said she never had morning sickness so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

It feels weird that we aren't supposed to tell anyone right now. Certainly I don't want to tell anyone at work, lest they already plan to replace me/not give me a raise/any of the other things a small male-dominated law firm would do to the only female lawyer who will have a child in the near future. Certainly they won't be happy for me--having a child will only distract from my indentured servitude and the slavish devotion I am supposed to have for the firm. We shall see.

As for the telling people, I don't get it. I suppose it saves the awkward "we lost the baby" conversation later on. But, so far if I have told anyone, I just say, it's early and anything could happen so we are keeping it low key. Folks who know me know that if I am at a social event, there will be an alcoholic beverage in my hand. Special election night I was drinking club soda--fortunately we were all given plastic cups so it wasn't obvious. But, if someone asked why I didn't want a glass of wine, I think I would have a hard time lying.

At a political event tonight, a female candidate I know talked about the fact that I was not seeking reelection. She and I talked about how the next few years would be focused on the pursuit of family and career. She said, "You two will have the most beautiful babies." How could I not tell her I am newly knocked up? So I did. Otherwise it would have felt weird not to say anything. I just don't see what the big deal is. Hubby hasn't even told his folks yet.

Oh well, I've never been good at keeping secrets. And this one is just way too cool to keep!

Pea in the pod

The big man was right when he said, "When I want to knock you up, I will knock you up!" (jokingly). Just took a pregnancy test last night, okay, I actually took three because we really wanted to be sure. Two lines. Any thought that I could quietly keep that information from my husband while I prepared a cool way to tell him (read May post with the Bears idea) immediately evaporated as I marched down the stairs with pregnancy test number one in hand and a smile on my face. So we do the second, and third.

I immediately apologize for the wine tasting I attended on Thursday, convinced that our embryo already has two heads, and think of every little thing in the past four weeks that could have messed up the baby's development. Typical, I suppose.

Ordered a few books online, and told my best friend who is due in December with her first child, which will be a girl.

In bed, we discuss which room will be the baby's room, and ways we can conserve money, and how much overtime he will try to sign up for.

I am looking forward to sickness and exhaustion, while I continue to work long attorney hours and try to maximize my billables!

We are convinced will have only boys. The first will be Thomas Wesley. The second name is disputed because I want "Robert" because what's the point of having your last name be ***** if you can't have a little Bobby *****? The big man says no way. I suppose I have some time to think about it. (***** last name edited out because grumpy husband says that my blog has his picture, car, house, job etc., and does not need his last name...)

This is my last hurdle into grownupness. There is a little ball of cells inside me that, with luck, will turn into an all-consuming bundle of joy next April. Keep your fingers crossed! I signed up at http://www.babycenter.com/ to learn about the baby's progress--they will email you weekly to tell you what your baby is doing and what parts of it are being created, etc., what to expect. Neat!

We are going to try to wait to tell people, but I have a feeling I won't be able to.