Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Good vibes, please?

We just got through a rough couple of days. On Monday afternoon I got the call from the doctor.

They never call for anything good. My bloodwork came back at elevated risk for Down's Syndrome, and could I come in the following day to talk to the doctor and for another ultrasound and amnio so we could decide what to do? GULP.

Enter an evening of crying B, rational Big Man, and lots of fear. He thinks I should get the amnio, I don't think I should, because I think we might have different opinions on what to do if it comes back positive. I feel awful at the idea of potentially choosing to terminate a pregnancy, when I lost one in the second trimester on the first try.

We talk. I cry. We hug and sleep on it. I head to work in the morning, and Big Man picks me up for the appointment. On the way down in the car, I tell him I've thought alot and I think we should do the amnio. He says he thought alot, and did some research and thinks we shouldn't. It was like that scene in Grease when Danny turns geeky and Sandy turns slutty thinking it's what the other one wants.

We talk about the risk of amnio causing a miscarriage. We talk about people we know of who have gotten false positives. We have an ultrasound, and there are no obvious physical indicators--although Down's is the least likely to show them. We were hoping to get a peek at the baby's gender but baby wasn't having any of that. Baby was curled up in a ball hoping it wouldn't get poked with a needle soon.

We talk to the doc. Apparently given my advanced maternal age, my risk for Downs should be 1:260. It's 1:160. The chance of the amnio causing a miscarriage is 1:250.

We decide against the amnio. The doc tells us we have a couple of weeks within which we can change our minds before it's too late. We talk on the way home, and I'm worried about having a baby with Down's, but I'm also worried that I could miscarry what we hope is a healthy baby boy.

We decide that we can live with a 1:160 chance, because it's better than the other alternatives. So, I will think positive thoughts and will try not to let this be a cloud hanging over this pregnancy.

Meanwhile, in happier news, Dani said "apple" today. Not to me, of course but at least Big Man told me about it.
And, little miss is going to be 1 in a week.

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