March madness.

 March means birthdays--one which Wes and my mom share.  Happy 42, Big Man.

And we had lots of recent visits from Grandma and Grandpa.  Grandpa got to enjoy a weekend with the kids, without Grandma.  Usually, he's second fiddle to Grandma, but when she's not around, he is lavished with attention.  Snuggles on the couch.

 Snuggles after dinner.

 And then Grandma came, and more fun was had.  Tea parties.

 Trips to the park.

 More tea parties.

 Finger painting--I think Grandma enjoyed it more than the kids!

 And, somebody lost another tooth!  This time it was just in time for family photos.

 

We're trying to teach Dani and Tori about money, and the tooth fairy deposits are helping with that.  A month or so ago, I opened savings accounts for the kids.  Since Dani was born, we've been throwing change into a large baby bottle bank.  The kids are always asking for coins to put in it.  It was finally full so Dani, Tori and I went to the bank to feed the coins into the machine to deposit into their accounts.  (the net was almost $150!).  If you enter my house, they will shake you down for more coins for the bank. 

And, I broke down and bought a minivan.  There's just no making that cool.  But it's practical...woo hoo!

 

And, in funny things my kids have said lately:

 

"Mommy, nobody's perfect; not even astronauts." (Dani)

"But Mommy, I'm not littering, I want to give the birds some stickers to play with."  (A disappointed Tori when I wouldn't let her throw stickers out of the car window.)

 

During a dinner, I had made a roast beef on the rotisserie.  Dani pointed out that the meat was the same color as Daddy, "brown and pink".  I suggested to the kids that perhaps that meant that Daddy was perfectly cooked and ready to eat.  Tori's response was, "NO!  We can't eat Daddy, because he would be too hard to chew."



Preparing for the holidays.

 I'm a bit behind in my posting because we've been having SO MUCH FUN!

It started with decorating for the holiday, and getting ready for Christmas card photos. 

It's torture a fun afternoon of getting toddlers dressed up and using a variety of bribes and threats keeping them smiling and interested while I desperately try to get a few decent photos for a card.

It's so hard to get all three looking at the camera and smiling at the same time.

We were so close with this one, but Tommy...

This one made the card.

 So did this one.

 We couldn't manage a hugging photograph that worked.

 Not sure what they were looking at, but it wasn't the camera.

 Crazy eyes.

 Duck face.

 A little clowing around.

 And we're still trying.

We managed to get some decent pics, and I found a deal on overnight shipping from Snapfish, so we had them in time to actually mail so people would receive them by Christmas....except I didn't order enough, so not everyone did....and I got to pay for rush shipping a second time, for the second wave of cards.  But they got done, and we were ready to celebrate!

 

And in crazy child utterances this month:

Dani informed me at bedtime yesterday that she wishes she was a boy "because it's more fun to be a boy because they have wee wees and get to have the boy toys at McDonalds".

Tori's favorite thing is to replace words with "poop", and she walks around singing "Frosty the Snowpoop" and all manner of silly poop related things.  Tommy then mimics her.  Yikes.

Driving in a car with Tommy results in yells of RED LIGHT STOOOOOOOOOOOP at the top of his lungs every time we see a light.

Goal: Torture Mommy. Achieved.

Place:  McGhee house

Parties:  Dani, Tori and Tommy

Mission: Torture Mommy.

Result:  Success

Wow, it was a rough night.  Wes left a cold beer in the fridge.  It's like he knew it would be.

 

Most Mondays, I am home by 4:30 so Wes can get some sleep.  He works the overnight, and I do my best to get home so he can be sleeping by 5pm.  Tonight was no different, except, I was on time! (Too often my 4:30pm goal is more like 4:45 or even 5pm).  I was walking in the door by 4:30.  Wes and the kids were upstairs, as Tori was getting up from her nap.  "How perfect," I thought, as I walked upstairs, planning to change out of my work clothes and let Wes just stay upstairs to go to sleep.

 

I change and bring the kids downstairs.  Wes mentioned that Tommy may be getting hungry, so I head to the kitchen to figure out what to feed him.  I pull out items to make for dinner.  A minute later, I pop out of the kitchen to see what the kids are doing.  Tommy apparently swiped a bottle of nonpareils from the lazy susan when I was looking in the fridge--and he has emptied it all over the little tykes table and the foyer floor.  (Did I mention our house was cleaned today?)  His bib, and hands are covered with dots. I groan and walk back to the kitchen to get the hand broom and dust pan.  Hearing my dismay, Dani and Tori notice and run to the table, and start to try to lick the tasty candy dots.  Dani gags on a mouthful of dots and proceeds to take three steps and puke on the floor.  Now, I've got a pile of puke and 400,000 tiny candy balls on the floor.  I race to the kitchen to get paper towels, yelling to Tommy to stay still, so he doesn't walk through the puke.  I come back with paper towels and bend over to clean up the mess.  Tommy, seeing an opportunity, sneaks into the bathroom to splash in the toilet.  Puke cleaned, I look around and hear him.  Scoop him up, scold him, and scrub his hands.  Realize Wes said he was hungry.  Give him a large squeezable toddler pouch.  Re-evaluate the situation.  Decide the nonpariels on the floor need to be vacuumed, so grab the vacuum from the mudroom and plug it in.  Turn it on and hear Tommy wail in terror (despite the fact that the house was vacuumed today--perhaps it was his shock from seeing Mommy vacuum).  Decide he can cry all he wants, as the candy balls need to be removed.  Tommy sprints into the foyer and dining room screaming bloody murder, while squeezing his pouch and spraying the walls with blueberry-carrot goo.  Wes comes back downstairs (sorry honey) to see why, after only 15 minutes alone with the kids, there is so much commotion.  Sometimes I think he enjoys my parenting fails.  He helps by picking up Tommy and pointing out spots of goo that I missed while attempting to clean.  All is quiet for a few minutes, he heads back upstairs to sleep.

 

Now, everyone is hungry.  Tommy finishes his fruit squeezer, and Tori has one and finishes it.  Dani asks for one and I bring it into the playroom.  Tommy decides he wants that one too, and when Dani won't give it up he makes a fist and swings, connecting solidly with my right eye.  I see stars.  I get teary as I bend over in pain.  Dani starts to cry, because she thinks I am sad.  Tori starts to cry because Dani is crying.  Tommy is still crying because he's pissed that Dani has applesauce.  I flush my eye with saline (but may have a shiner tomorrow) and head to the kitchen to start to cook them dinner.

 

And how was YOUR night?

The potty training blues.

This brilliant little 3 1/2 year old is killing me with the potty training.  We dropped the hammer and instituted an underwear only rule (except for bedtime and the occasional nap) a few days ago.  She refuses to poop on the potty.  Refuses.  Sits for long periods of time on the potty asking for lollipops and to play games on my phone and promises to poop if she has them.  (I give her the phone--but no food, no eating while pooping, thankyouverymuch).  She just plays games on the phone and never poops.

Now that she's in underwear, she holds it (the poops) in all day, despite the fact that Big Man puts her on the potty once every hour or so.  Like every night, she says she needs to poop and asks for a diaper, so we put her on the potty.  Tears flow.  She has won the battle every night so far, as we know she will just poop in the nightime diaper as soon as we put her to bed...so I cave close to bedtime and put her in a diaper.

Last night, on the potty, Dani said, "Mommy, I'm thinking of a thing that is like underwear, but has velcro tabs and you could just put me on the changing table and put it on me, ok?"
And then she gives me the angelic face.

I used to joke and say (about my kid) that once your kid is old enough to request a specific diapering protocol ("I need powder" or "I need the baby rash cream with the baby on it") they are WAY too old to be in diapers.
But dang it--I'm at a loss here. 

She knows what she needs to do.  She just won't do it.  I've talked to her about pre-school and needing to poop on the potty, etc., but to no avail.  I know once she does it once it will be easy-peasy.  But getting her there......hellish!  Meanwhile, Tori pees on command (multiple times a day, even waking from a nap with a dry diaper), so I'm hoping it will be easier with kiddo number 2!