Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.

I think that's what Bruce Banner (aka the Hulk, right? can't ask Big Man 'cause he's sleeping, but I am pretty sure it's not Bruce Jenner who is all creepy looking and face-lifty and a reality tv star of sorts but didn't he used to be a famous athlete or something?) used to say before he turned into the Hulk. I should google it so my post is correct, but it's much more fun if I am inadvertently wrong somehow...
...true story of me mixing up names. I was a girl in my teens (14 or so). For reasons that I will not explain for fear of being considered trashy, I happened to be in a bar (sports related pay per view was involved, as were guardians and/or parents if that helps) and some young men came up to me and introduced themselves, one of them introduced himself to me as "Johnny Holmes" or maybe it was "John Holmes", and my response was, "Oh, like the boxer? They laughed in unison and walked away from what was, clearly, the jailbait.
Yeah, so I had a rough day. Ever see the movie Hustle and Flow--no, I'm not walkin' the streets, but seriously, I could have been singing, "It's hard out here for a pimp, when you're trying to get the money for the rent," except, my song would be more like, "It's hard out here for a lawyer" except that nothing rhymes with lawyer, except maybe sawyer, and if I used that, people would think I typed something wrong, even though it technically means a person who saws wood, and that wouldn't really make any sense, would it? Or, I could try, "It's hard out here for an attorney", but then I already sound like a pompous asshole because who really says "attorney"? (me, sometimes, to be honest), but what really rhymes with attorney? gurney? So far the only thing positive about my day that is positive is that I did not end up on a gurney.
(This picture isn't blurry. You are probably drunk.)
As Norm on Cheers so appropriately said, "It's a dog eat dog world and I'm eating MilkBone underwear."
Again, not blurry. I'd recommend you lay off the sauce.


debbyk said...

hope it got better for you - bruce jenner got a face lift, so he doesn't look ssoooo scary anymore:-) feel better now?

Jackie said...

Lawyer----Coyer---Bruce Jenner was on Wheaties Boxes he was an Olympian.