Friday, June 12, 2009

Street justice, baby style!

Today was the baby showdown. Big Man had to study for his sergeant's exam, and so our friend Gail was going to watch Dani. It would be perfect because Gail was already going to be watching an 11 month old, who I will refer to as "captain caveman baby" (because that's what she reminds me of) because her parents had gone out of town for a wedding. Gail loves babies, and is happy to have two friends with little babies, so the idea of two babies was a happy one to Gail. (at first.)

First, I must say that captain caveman baby is not physically that much bigger than Dani, but can walk around (she is 5 months older). Second, I must say that Dani has never actually interacted with another baby so we were interested to see what that would be like.

I have been informed that the day's highlights were as follows:

Dani was very happy (full body flailing baby happy) to see captain caveman baby. Captain caveman baby appeared happy to see Dani. They smiled, or screeched, or did whatever babies do to signifiy happiness. When it was quiet baby time, Gail put Dani and captain caveman baby in the pack and play together, and the babies were smiley and giggly and face to face.........and then Gail went to get her camera to capture the magical moment.

It is my understanding that when Gail came back into the room, captain caveman baby decided it would be fun to reach over and yank Dani's hair. Commence Dani screaming. Dani screaming caused captain caveman baby to scream. (Oh the horrors. )

The only way Gail could get captain caveman baby to stop screaming was to hold her, but captain caveman baby would not let Gail hold Dani too (at which point I would have put captain caveman baby in the garage) but captain caveman baby was bigger and stronger so Gail had to hold her first. Captain caveman baby calmed down, but Dani did not. So, Gail called for reinforcements. Aunt Renny came over to hold Dani so that captain caveman baby would not scream, and apparently she would scream if put down. When Aunt Renny could not calm Dani, Uncle John was summoned and he came over, and still could not calm my crying child. Then Aunt Renny put Dani in captain caveman baby's stroller (baby street justice) and Dani was happy and went to sleep. And all was well.

But, Dani, apparently much like the mob, does not forget a slight. When she woke up, Aunt Renny fed her some carrots and held her and brought her over to captain caveman baby and Dani promply smacked her three times in the head (more baby street justice). Commence screaming of captain caveman baby, and ensuing crying by Dani. Gail, a woman of remarkable patience, managed not to shake either child, and calmed them down.

Rule Number 1: don't f*&k with my baby, because apparently, she's pretty tough, and will kick your butt. Don't make Dani angry. You won't like her when she's angry.

I spent about an hour there after work, and Dani was absolutely captivated by captain caveman baby. Each time they were near each other, there was cooing and smiling and general Dani flailing. I think that if Dani was around a baby a few months older than she is, she would start interacting/talking/crawling, etc., much better and faster. Makes me more sure I need to get knocked up this month so she can have a playmate ASAP!

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