My kid's better than your kid........stop me before I compare again.

I am afraid I'm going to be one of those parents. Maybe I already am. You know, the one who needs to compare my kid to every other kid I see so that I can deem my kid superior in every way. Or not, which means my baby will quickly need to work extra hard to catch up. My baby will keep up with other babies!

I wish I were joking, but a woman came over last night with a baby 3 weeks older than Dani. And that baby could sit up! By herself! She used a sippy cup with ease. She held said sippy cup. She ate Gerber Beginnings Baby Puffs! My kid has not yet eaten of the Puff. She was, not as cute as my baby, but that was my only consolation. And I just kept telling myself (that Dani was cuter) while she was there, because life in B's world, is, after all, a competition.

I suck. I am the most competitive/judgmental person in the universe. This is incredibly ironic because I am absolutely unremarkable. No two things in my mind can ever be equal. I always like something better than the other, if there are more than one. If you are reading this and you have two kids, I like one of them better, and think one of them is cuter/funnier/smarter/less annoying, but don't ask because I will be too ashamed to admit it. Big Man thinks I'm crazy (but not crazy sexy fun crazy, just like crazy cat lady judgmental bitch crazy). He has twin nephews and very early into our relationship (round 2 that is) I asked him which of the twins he liked better. He said that he loved them the same, and I was all, "the same, you can't love two different things the same". Each time I see the little guys, I like one of them better than the other one because at that particular visit, one was more to my liking. It fluctuates. On any given day I like one of my cats better than the other too. Generally, that is whichever cat didn't puke. They puke all the flippin' time but that's another story.

So, back to Dani.
We had tummy time at 7am so Dani could work on her core strength so she can sit up soon. I stopped at Wal*Mart and got a first sippy cup so she could start to work on her sippy skillz. (Tried said sippy cup and it merely served to enrage her. She wasn't particulary hungry, and spit out all that she took in, perhaps out of spite!) I passed on the puffs, because even I realize that were she to choke (having no teeth and all) I could do time for being a completely negligent jackass.

I blame my mom (only kind of mom in a joking way, don't get all pissed off). She keeps encouraging me to get out my baby book to see what I was doing so I can compare it to Dani. So far, Dani would be losing and have to face more baby boot camp with her psychotic mommy. Apparently I was pretty advanced, what with the walking at 7 months and reciting the Pledge of Allegiance at 18 months and all, but hey, I was a prodigy........or maybe my mom was really competitive too! It's all her fault, yeah, that's the ticket!

She really was loving her little tykes musical thingie tonight though..........ah the music eases the pain of the evil comparing mommy....rest assured if I was capable of cropping the video, you would not see the lumpy mommy abdomen.

Peace, y'all!