Happy New Year!

Happy New Year all!

I have so much to be thankful for this year; from the Big Man to the baby, my life could not be any better.

Looking so forward to 2009 and all that it will bring!

Best wishes all.

Grandma and Grandpa visit.

Grandma and Grandpa are enjoying their visit, and mommy and daddy are enjoying the help! Somehow, they manage not to hear Dani's middle of the night screams, so mommy still handles those!
Had a little fun with the close up settings on the camera!

A visit from Grandma and Grandpa.

Grandma and Grandpa B are en route, and are going to be staying a week.

Therefore, posts will be light, but I expect to have lots of great pictures of the visit!

For now, baby's refused to sleep since I fed her at 9:45am, and closes her eyes, and then screams incessantly, despite being fed, re-fed, burped, re-burped, changed, re-changed and swaddled. Grandma can't get her soon enough! I miss this cute little happy baby:

Today is the last day of regular season football--the Bears need lots of things to happen to get to the playoffs. Here's hoping for a loss by the Vikings and a win by the Bears--or if the Vikings and Bears both win, we need the Cowboys and Bucs to lose. I'm wearing my lucky 86 jersey...

Christmas

Christmas was great.

Dani slept for 6 hours, starting at 9pm Christmas Eve, but we didn't have any idea she would so we stayed up until midnight figuring she'd do her typical 3, and then we would go to sleep--what a waste of some potentially good shuteye!!! Christmas night she slept for a little over 4, so we are definitely making progress.

Went to my aunt's house, and baby was enjoyed by all. Babies just make people happy--and daddy got to smoke a cigar with the guys, and mommy got to drink wine and socialize, while excited cousins took turns holding/feeding/photographing the baby. Very nice! We didn't make Dani wear this hat, because although cute, it was way too big! She looks like a little chef!

Grandma and Grandpa B are coming in on Sunday to visit--can't wait!

Merry Christmas!!

I'm biased because I'm her mommy, but isn't this just precious:

We had some fun tonight, dressing Dani up in her first "outfit", as she has existed in the simplicity of sleepers since birth. But we were going to the Christmas Eve service at church (her first public appearance) and needed her to look extra cute. I'd say we succeeded!

And, for those of you who didn't get a Christmas card from us (we were late, and ran out!), we wish you the very merriest!

Mommy update.

I head to the OB today for a post-surgery incision check. I'm feeling pretty okay, still quite sore around the middle.

I am pleased to report that today, I put on (a) my wedding band and engagement ring; and (b) my pre-pregnancy jeans--and they are roomy!

Now, let's preface this by saying I was a little fatty-pants before I got pregnant. But, I was very careful during the pregnancy to watch what I ate, and to minimize the baby weight gain, which was recommended by my doc due to my ample pre-pregnancy size. For the past two weeks, I've also tried to not let the baby stress make me eat a ton, and I realize that I can't keep eating for two (which was fun while it lasted). So, the doctor will perform the official weigh-in at 1:45pm today, but my scale reports that I weigh about 15 pounds less than I did when I got weighed on my 4/11/08 positive pregnancy test day.

Now, if I can just keep that progress up, and have another similar pregnancy, I should be in pretty decent shape...now remember, horizonal stripes are not a fat girl's friend.Notice the Christmas tree--it's up, there are presents underneath it, only there are NO ornaments! Well, there's one--Tara sent us a "Baby's First Christmas" which made it to the tree, but the rest are still in the basement! Oh well, the lights are pretty enough.

***update, 9pm; went to the OB, weighed 19 pounds less than my 4/11/08 7 week ultrasound...even better! (ate a whole frozen pizza for dinner, though, so 15 pounds probably more accurate now!)

Hopefully over the rough patch.

We've had a rough couple of days. Dani's been fussy and miserable and not sleeping and screeching and crying and driving mommy insane. In fact, mommy has been fussy and miserable and not sleeping and crying too, probably because she's not sleeping.

We learned a lot of things about babies in the last few days. Some of these things came from the book, Happiest Baby on the Block, graciously sent to me by my Uncle John and Aunt Beth, and some things from our local grandma emeritus Debi.

Things we were doing wrong:

1. feeding the baby lying down--using the positions learned from the breasfeeding nazi at the hospital, despite the fact we were using a bottle (which introduces air to the process).

2. not taking a burp break during a feeding.

3. not being diligent in making sure that she burps enough after a feeding, ie giving up too soon, and probably leaving little gas bubbles in her tummy (ouchie!).

4. immediately laying her down to change her diaper after feeding, again, not enough vertical-ish time.5. not noticing that she was sucking pretty hard on the newborn flow nipples and probably getting frustrated...it says it is for newborns, and the next size is for one month plus so it never occurred to me to change. She got a little blister on her lip yesterday from the newborn nipple, and so I upgraded the size this morning (2 weeks early!) and boy did she have an easier time.

Happier baby = happier mommy. Happier mommy = happier daddy.

We also had a bath with lots of water in it, because baby is sans umbilical cord--she actually seemed to enjoy it!

She was perky and playful this afternoon, which was fun! She had her first round of tummy time, and enjoyed it. In fact, she lifted her head and turned it from one side to the other so she could look around! Not bad for 13 days old!

Screw you AGAIN DirecTV!!!

I officially hate DirecTV.

Today is Sunday. Our first Sunday with the HD set up and the football ticket. Big Man turns on the TV, and for some reason we have the football ticket channels, but not the football ticket in HD! At the same time, I open my DirecTV bill and its $333!!! WTF?

Now, I've posted about the saga when we signed up for HD on November 15, and had to wait until December 15 for the install. What I didn't know at the time is that DirecTV charged our credit card $214 on November 15 for the HD dish we didn't have yet. Then they decided to charge me again on the December statement. Fun times!

So we call DirecTV, and a polite woman acknowledges (after I look up the date and exact amount of payment) that they have charged us twice and they "don't know why". So, she credits us, and now our bill is $118.24, which I can live with. I just wasted 20 minutes of my life, but okay.

So I mention to her that we have a second problem and it is that we can't watch the football ticket in HD because we are getting an error message. We've missed valuable minutes of football trying to reboot the system to no avail. She explains that while we have the HD package, and the football ticket, that if we want the football ticket in HD we have to purchase the "superfan" upgrade, which, for the final two weeks of the season costs $69.99! WTF??? We already paid about $300 for the football ticket, and over $200 for the HD upgrade, plus they are soaking us for more money each month for the HD programming, and now we have to PAY MORE to watch the football games in HD??? This is bullshizzle. We said not no, but hell no. And now we are watching low-def football on our big screen and it looks LIKE TOTAL CRAP!

This cable/dish monopoly on certain sports is so unfair because there is no competition.

We can't live without the football ticket. (and certainly not without HD.)

I feel like we are getting extorted.

Hey DirecTV, you could have kissed me first! (before you ****ed me!)

Touchdown!

Dani's getting ready to watch football tonight--practicing her TOUCHDOWN signal!

She loves BIG bottles! Yum!We managed a bath today without screaming, yay! Love the frog towel too!Someday I will write about something other than my baby, but not today! We are snowed in at home, busy wrapping presents and addressing Christmas cards! A nice, lazy Saturday, just the three of us.

Big Man = love.

It is overwhelming and amazing to see the Big Man as a dad. I always knew he'd be awesome. He is an amazing mix of strength and gentleness; never rushes to judgment or to speak; he is kind and funny; he is loyal and intelligent; he is our protector and my soulmate.

I have been trying to capture the strength/gentle dichotomy on camera, as Big Man holding the tiny baby in his huge hands really speaks volumes.

Time flies!

Today began well--Big Man took the baby downstairs and I slept until 10:15am.

It's amazing how fast the days fly by. We are getting pounded with snow. I have been managing to do some legal work on certain files in the beginning part of the day, and the rest is reserved for just being a mom (and wife).

Wrapped some presents, trying to make the house look festive, and nice, because holy crap, it's Christmas next week! And, someone is coming to see the house on Monday--I told our realtor to explain that we have a not-yet two week old baby and the potential purchasers will just have to envision the house without baby clutter.

I went into the attic today to dig out my baby book to compare newborn Dani to newborn B. The results:

All babies kind of look alike, so I'd say the jury's still out on this one.

Just another day in paradise.

Hungry baby eat mommy head. Nom. Nom. Nom.

We had a number of errands to run yesterday and the weather was rather craptastic. So, we asked Gail if she would watch Dani for a few hours while we ran to the doctor, and human resources to add her to the insurance, etc. Gail was happy to do it, so we packed Dani up and dropped her off bright and early in the morning, and we were able to run our errands, including a much-needed trip to Target to get a winter-weight snowsuitish coat that fits her. Gail said she was great, didn't fuss, and was happy to watch her. I am happy to report that I had NO mommy-guilt for leaving my shiny new baby with someone. It all worked out.

Things changed when we got home however. Dani woke up and was gassy and miserable, and didn't sleep for most of the day, but rather writhed and screamed a lot. (Thank GOD she wasn't like that at Gail's!) No fever, but after 3 hours we called the doctor who said we could give her baby mylanta gas drops. Eventually, it helped and baby slept.

Today, she's back to her cute and cuddly self!

Guest post, by Dani.

Hello world! I'm a week old today and mommy said I could handle today's blog post.

I'm Dani, and B is my mommy. Big Man is my daddy--he's kinda shy and doesn't like mommy to put his picture on the blog. I'm not shy though, and have authorized mommy to put as many pictures of me out there for the world to enjoy--maybe I'll be discovered, and score a sweet diaper endorsement!

Things on the other side of the womb are pretty okay. I went to the doctor yesterday, but didn't have to get any shots, which was good. Apparently, I'm pretty healthy. Mommy told the doctor that I am able to lift up my head and look in all directions and the doctor was surprised because I am still so young. He doesn't realize I'm a super baby. He said as soon as my belly button thingie falls off I can have tummy time...I figure it should take me a couple weeks and then I should be able to do more pushups than dad. He's big, but he's not as tough as me!

I've been eating a lot, and sleeping in pretty good blocks of time. That makes mommy and daddy happy. It lets them think that they are in control, but we all know differently, don't we? If they step out of line, I'll just be sure to "adjust" my sleep schedule to show them who the boss of the house really is.

A few days ago, I got some new outfits from Auntie Tara. I'm wearing the pink one today, and I like it so much that I didn't spit up on it, yet! I've been having a lot of vistors--it seems everyone loves babies, particularly when they are as cute as me. I figure I'm developing quite a fan base in the world of the internets, so I will leave you with a picture...gotta take a nap now...girl needs her beauty sleep!

This made me laugh.

Mommy still has time for silly stuff. This made me chuckle.


see more pwn and owned pictures

Finally, a non-baby post!

Time to show you I'm capable of doing more than fawning over my newborn today.

We got HD-ified today. Wow. I've always been indifferent to TV, but it is so COOL! You can see every detail from the faces in the crowds to the wrinkles and bloodshot eyes of the anchors on sports center. Can't wait to watch Monday Night Football in HD tonight--all we need to go with it would be some smell-o-vision (hot dogs, beer) and we could have the true stadium experience! And apparently it records what we watch so I can pause the tv and grab a snack and then just restart--cool! It will be especially helpful for when Ms. Fussy needs something.

Also, stumbled across this cookbook, and thought it might be a good gift for the hard-to-shop for. You just can't make this shit up. Or maybe you can, someone check snopes, but definitely check this link, and read the comments, they are freakin' hilarious! (Title of the book: Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes) Just click the link and read the comments.
http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

Went to the babydoc today--baby healthy, and amazingly average in every size and shape (head, weight, length, etc.)

Big Man's going to grill some steaks tonight (compliments of Gail) and we are going to chill out and watch the football game. Westbrook's got to get me 20 points tonight or I lose to the Big Man in our fantasy football playoffs.

Getting the hang of things.

**caveat to this post** I am not deluded enough to think the following scenario will be a regular occurrence:

What a difference a day (and some sleep makes). We put Dani down to sleep last night around 10:30pm, and we went to sleep around 11pm. She slept until 2pm. Tag-team the feeding and diapering; back to bed at 2:30am. Wake up call at 5:30am and another tag-team feeding and diapering. Finish at 6am, and I send Big Man to our bedroom, shut the monitor off and let him get some solid sleep for a few hours. I doze a bit in the guest room which is right across the hall and with the door open I can hear everything, and Dani is up at 6:30 and she is hungry again. So she has a little bottle. Fuss, fuss, fuss. Diaper change at 7am, and then I wake up on my own at 8:45 and then wake up Big Man. A decent night's sleep. (We've been keeping a log of bottles and diaper wets so we can get the hang of frequency and know she is eating and wetting enough.) Wow!

Today was the planned bath day, so we cranked the bathroom heater and we set up the bathroom sink. We figured sleeping-ish baby would be the least bath resistant, so we brought her in. I think we erred on the side of the water not being warm enough, but the delay so mommy could take photos, because mommy's got priorities. Dani was not pleased. She was so not pleased that we didn't even use soap, just kind of swiped her with a washcloth and hurried her out of the tub.

A few minutes later (and warmer) baby was happily snuggling with daddy in her cool hooded towel. Big Man's hand looks like it could encompass the baby, but I think it's a foreground/background illusion, because his hands are big but not that big.I think I posted a few weeks ago about my planned baby present for Big Man--to get the local Chicago Bear to autograph a onesie that I could frame for the nursery. My neighbors helped me as they are friends with Josh Beekman's parents. (Josh Beekman is a local guy who was drafted by the Bears two years ago, and is now a starting offensive lineman, #67.) Doorbell rang today and it was our neighbor Paul, and Mr. Beekman (Josh's dad) who were there to personally deliver the autographed onesie for Big Man along with a photograph. What a great surprise! And, Big Man got to talk football and Chicago and Big Man was happy!

In other football news, Big Man and I are head to head this week in the fantasy football playoffs. I have the best record in the league and he's the wild card, but it's not looking good for me.

Visitors: Yesterday our Grandma Emeritus Debi came over and spent a few hours with her local granddaughter! Today Dani met Aunt Renny and Uncle John. Our friend Aimee also came over, and brought us some baby stuff she no longer needed--a great swing and a formula pitcher, among other things. She also was super helpful with tips and ideas and ran to Target to grab a couple of baby things we needed. Since I can't drive and am still pretty sore and moving slowly, and we don't know what the heck we are doing, we've decided that unless absolutely necessary neither one of us needs to be alone with the baby for any real length of time--just until we are more settled in.

I spend a bunch of time today holding the baby. We've managed to get her to slow down during her feedings, and take breaks for burps and such, because although she doesn't really spit up, she gets the hiccoughs every time she eats. So, when she is done eating, I have been more actively burping her over my shoulder, and then just let her lay there for a bit so that she is ready to sleep. She just lays with her head turned my way, and occasionally lifts her head to look around. It is the sweetest thing in the entire universe. I could do it forever. So happy.

And on the Fourth Day...

...we were discharged from the hospital.
No more uncomfortable beds and mediocre food.
No more intrusions to check my blood pressure or vitals that wake up the baby.
Whew!
But...now...
No more:
nurses to give us advice;
food staff to deliver our meals;
pediatrician visits every day;
staff to clean up the room; or
nursery staff to watch and care for Dani if we want to sleep!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

To prepare for the trip home, we had to pick out an outfit. (Love the Dad hand/Baby hand here)

Then, the jacket and carseat for a safe trip:
Home and all tuckered out in the baby papasan:

Glad to be home. Home to the land mines of cat puke and days of mail. Home to the fully-stocked refrigerator with ready to heat and ready to eat meals, sandwiches and salads compliments of Auntie Gail. This was cry-worthy--I ate a salad! Vegetables! Not something we would have had on hand for a while I am sure!

Then the exhaustion hit me. Big Man suggested I go upstairs to sleep. We estimated that during the hospital visit I may have slept for an aggregate of 5 hours. We started the first night with no sleep, and then things calmed down a bit--Big Man was able to rack out for a few hours at a time each day. But lots of other stuff kept me busy--some labs and vitals that were below par meant that I was monitored a lot more than I would have liked to be and I just could not sleep.

By the time I got home, I could barely complete a sentence, because I could not hold a thought together. I crashed for about 20 minutes on the couch and then tried to pump and couldn't get the manual pump to work. Mommy meltdown number 1. (at this point I was probably like an E cup and man it hurt). At this point every part of me feels bad, from my guts to my back to my super swollen ankles.

Big Man insists I lie down upstairs and says he will take all baby responsibility. I go upstairs, shower and get ready for bed (6pm). Climb into bed and sack out for an hour. Need to get up but I can't. Our bed is pretty high--it hurt a bit to climb in, but I definitely can't get out without help. My abs hurt because of the surgery and I resort to yelling for Big Man, who gets me out of bed, and then insists on making up the guest room for me because the bed is about a foot lower and more manageable. Caveat is that he's going to sleep in the bedroom because the bed is bigger. Mommy meltdown 2. (irrational, tired, bleh...the rooms have an adjoining door for pete's sake!).

So, Big Man tucks me into bed and I sleep some more. Probably like 3 more hours and he brings the baby up to the nursery. I wake up again, and he's taking the monitor downstairs so I can continue to sleep and he suggests I use the earplugs so I can sleep undisturbed. He comes up around 11pm and then we come up with the plan that he will keep the monitor in the bedroom, but that we will both wake up for a minute or two with each baby need, to determine whether it's a one man or two man job; feedings are much easier with both of us, for the extra hands but diaper changes are an easy solo job. So we split the time until 4:30am, when we do the last feeding and it's Big Man's turn for some shuteye. So, I take the monitor, shut him in the bedroom, and the blessed little baby gives him 3 hours of shuteye! When he wakes up around 7:30, she's changed and napping, having eaten already, so he cleans up, showers and then heads downstairs with baby so I can do the same.

Then I take over so he can make us a breakfast feast....bacon, real eggs, english muffins, coffee!

All in all, once I got a little bit of sleep it's going well!

Time to get to work on the baby pics for the announcement. Expecting a bunch of visitors over the next few days too!

Happy to be home, with my family.

I'm so in love x2.

Flying solo.

I originally thought I was going to get discharged today--knew it was a 3 day visit, and counted the birth day as day one. Learned yesterday that I'd be here until Friday.

Apparently we are going to get a nasty storm very soon and lasting into tomorrow. So, Big Man headed home to take care of some business, like making sure we have salt, etc., taking out the garbage, etc. Then he's going to head to his place of work and add baby to the insurance and just handle some shizzle for us!

He's going to bring the breasteeding friendly bottles as the ones here are really hard, and I think Dani will do better with the ones I have at home. The ol' milk's starting to come in (hello rack!) and I am going to try to pump in the AM to see whether we can incorporate some of nature's goodness into the feeding regime.......feel way less stressed about it today, and am hopeful there will be a happy medium to find.

So, I'm flying solo! Just changing diapers and singing silly songs.

Enjoy the photo, I look like a 12 year old without makeup.

I realize that the baby probably looks the same to you today, but she is getting some more color, and is less puffy and generic-baby looking. More later.

I have lots of great photos with Daddy, but as you know, they are banned from the blog in their original, unedited state. And, I'm on the new work laptop (with the OK from Bob) and don't have the photo software I need.........officer friendly will return this weekend.

Well wishers abound.

Granddaddy B has decided to keep the tradition of roses for little girls alive, but grandbabies get yellow and mommy still gets red. Love you Dad and Grandpa.

And, the Big Man's best pal sent me some lovely flowers, and a tasty box of chocolate! Thanks Bill. They smell lovely!

We've gotten a million emails and notes, and for now, I can only respond via blog--because my baby needs kisses!

Couldn't be happier.

Day two, well, day one and a half I guess.

Let's just say that the past 24 hours were not as cute and cuddly as the mommy kitty below.

So, we had a rough night. A really rough night.

Like every wrench does not fit every bolt, every boobie does not fit every baby...and we sure found that out the hard way.

Baby was super fussy all day yesterday. Crying, screeching, turning red, etc., despite my feeding and patting, etc. We sent Dani to the nursery so we could get some sleep around midnight. We did not sleep. The nursery kept sending her back and telling me to feed her. Baby screeching; Big Man twisting my girl parts into a variety of balloon animal shapes to try to get them to fit into the baby's mouth so she will latch. Me, crying hysterically while the RN also tries to help fit the Philips head nipple into the flat head baby mouth opening. Baby latches for .02 seconds and then lets go so she can scream and wail.

Even with all of the help, we failed. So, at 3:15am we gave Dani a bottle of formula. It was like magic. She stopped crying. She was probably starving before that and wondering why no one would feed her.

We tried to go back to breastfeeding today, and they sent in a lactation consultant (aka breastfeeding nazi) and even with her help, we failed to feed the baby. So, she's had bottles all day, and she is like a whole new lady. For the first 2 feedings, I tried to nurse first as instructed by the breastfeeding nazi, on each side just to try to see if it would work (it didn't). Then, they brought out a pump, just to see whether my girl parts could possibly hurt any more. Short of adding Tabasco sauce, there was about no worse pain in that area that I could imagine.

So, I quit the pump, and we just gave her another bottle, without trying the au naturel way first. We are going to let the nice ladies in the nursery feed her bottles all night, because did I mention, we haven't slept yet??? We will see how I feel in the morning about trying again.

BUT, my baby was content today. She slept; she was held, sure she cried, but babies cry. I was not a crying wreck and actually enjoyed my baby. Her tummy was full and happy all day long.

Jackie H was baby's first visitor, followed by Christine, and then Gail and Shannon, and Nancy!

Big Man just fed her, and she has the hiccoughs, which is just about the cutest thing ever.

I have never been this exhausted ever. But she's even cuter today. I just want to give her about a million kisses all over her cute little body! Who knew you could love something that much!

Do not make Dani angry. You won't like her when she's angry. This was the 9pm diaper check:

Hey, I'm a mom!

I'm too tired to say much, but here's some pics of our little baby, Danielle Raye, 8lbs 1 oz. 20" long, born today at 10:24am. Right now she's rather fussy, and Big Man is focusing on calming her down. You should see the way he looks at her--he was born to be a father. I love them both soooooo much.

A Birth Day Contest.

Okay reader.

A baby's birth day contest!

Winner gets a prize, and I don't just mean the opportunity to babysit!

Guess:
1. Baby's weight.
Tiebreaker is:
2. Time baby actually gets delivered.

Good luck.

FYI, Big Man predicts under 8 lbs. and I'm going with over 8lbs. Full disclosure: we have absolutely no basis for our guesses!

Bumped, we are.

Still home. Called the hospital to confirm my arrival time, and they told us to come an hour later.

Not a good sign.

Won't call again, will just show up.

Hopefully we will have this baby today!

News may be later than planned, however.

Tomorrow I'll be a mom.

Home from hospital pre-op.
Bags are packed.

Tomorrow we meet our daughter.

We were talking last night about what she will be like when she is older, and Big Man predicts, "gorgeous and popular".

As for what she will look like tomorrow, Big Man's dad went out on a limb and predicted, "brown hair, brown eyes, and light brown skin".

I'm thinking she's definitely going to have dark hair and brown skin, but blue eyes like mine would be way cool!

I hope to post pics tomorrow, it all depends on how much I'm enjoying the morphene.

Notable people born on 12/9.

Big Man did some online research, to see what other important people were born on 12/9, besides our baby-to-be. The conversation began because we were watching sportcenter and they noted that yesterday (the date we originally thought we would be having her) was Terrell Owens' (Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and all-around arrogant prick) birthday, and I told Big Man that I was glad our baby wouldn't share his birthday.

He is happy to report that other December 9th birthdays include:
former Chicago Bear and NFL Hall of Famer Dick Butkus (1942).
Well, that's the highlight for the Big Man.

Other notables (or not so notables) born on 12/9:
John Milton (1608), author of my favorite quote of all time, "Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to my conscience, above all other liberties."
Clarence Birdseye (1886) frozen food dude
Tip O'Neill (1912)
Amsterdam-born Kirk Douglas (1916)
Redd Foxx (1922)
Donny Osmond (1957)
Congresswoman Kirstin Gillibrand (1966)

That's all for now......headed to the hospital for my pre-op appointment!

Ok, I'm ready.

The Bears game is almost over; they are going to win. So, damn the rest of the football watching day and let the uterine cramping begin, please?

Baby, kick it into high gear; I'm ready to go into labor now. OK?

In other positive news, Bratz dolls have been ordered by a court to be discontinued after the holidays, so my little girl will never get to play with the little trampy things! Woo hoo!

That at least settles one of my concerns about having a girl baby from my post of August 26, http://betsyboothhill.blogspot.com/search?q=sugar+and+spice

Two days to go; hosptial pre-op tomorrow afternoon, unless I can convince my water to break sooner...here's hoping!

Things that should remind you of me.

In case anyone is wondering what I look like these days, here are a few things that should remind you of my bloated, pregnant ass.

The movie Wall-E not only accurately described the humans of the future, but also the 38 week pregnant B's of today:And, when I stand sideways, I bear a certain resemblance to this scary storyteller:

But I still manage to bring smiles and french fries to children around the globe.

Sweet jesus, 3 more days of this................

And now a word from my baby...

Got some awesome baby stuff from Aunt Amy and Uncle Todd today--first aid stuff, onesies and the cutest outfit--can't wait to put her in it!

Baby says:

5 days to go...

Big Man went back to work last night for his last week before vacation. We have a plan "b" in case I need a ride or go into labor while he's gone. My cousin Gail will be my go-to girl in the event we need to race to the hospital at 3am, as Big Man won't be able to get home to me (15 miles west of his work) and then get me 35 miles east to the hospital in time, so he can just meet us there.

Last OB appointment is today. :)

Bags are packed. Ready to go.

Wills drafted; Big Man's executed, still have to sign mine. Just trying to be prepared!

OH, and Big Man baked me a devils food layer cake with white frosting (my fave) just because he ROCKS!

When psycho grandmas attack.

Last night, Big Man was on the phone talking to his best pal in Michigan and he ignored an incoming call on call waiting... (gasp!)

Except that call was from a certain grandma-to be who will remain nameless (but her initials might be MJS).

Who panicked. (is it baby time???)

And called my cell, but the ringer was too low for me to hear.
So she called Big Man's cell, but no one got it because Big Man was on the phone.
(oops.)

So she panicked more.

And then she dispatched her flying monkeys.
Then she tried to call in the Air National Guard, after phoning in an Amber Alert and appearing on Larry King Live pleading for help.

Then Big Man got off the phone and I waddled into the butler's pantry to check out who had called his cell. Once I saw that she had called Big Man's phone I kind of panicked and thought that maybe something was wrong on their end, and they really needed me and then I got worried. So I called her.

And then this certain grandma-to-be told me that I was working too much and that I should be home relaxing at all times because it's ALMOST baby time.

I reminded her that about three months ago when I was worried that the lack of sleep and working with a baby would be hard, her exact words were, "Women working in the fields have babies every day and keep working. You'll be fine." (Yes, I was birthed from sympathetic loins.)

Someone's got a serious case of grandma-to-be-itis. But I love her for it.

Anyway:
ONE WEEK TO GO!